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ISSUE 4 : Winter 1999 - 2000

      My name's Jonny, and I have issues. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds pretty Californian to me. Pity we're English.
      This issue's a little bit later than we'd have liked, but then we never were reliable. 'Fraid a whole load of real-world stuff got in the way - family, work, failed love affairs, love affairs that never were, and so on. But like we pointed out way back in GMing With Nothing - if we had lives we probably wouldn't be roleplaying.
      If any of you take a look at my GURPS Character Sheet you'll find it's been updated to reflect the fact that since Issue 3 I've lost around 35 pounds in weight. (Yeh!). Unfortunately, a recent discussion with Tattoo Girl has confirmed that this hasn't in any way affected any of the other disadvantages - but then I guess you can't have everything.
      So you can all read on happily. It takes a potent blend of dysfunctional misery and creative frustration to churn out Critical Miss, and those both seem set to long continue. Guess we're here to stay.

Jonny Nexus, Editor, Critical Miss Magazine.

P.S. The ratings system introduced last issue has been a big success, but it did mean that someone's article had to come last. To get over this we've deliberately created an article to come last. Feel free to vote it a 1.

Guide All Aboard For The Adventureland Express!
Railroading. The very term strikes fear into the bones of hardened roleplayers. Like a man with tunnel vision they see only the linear plotline ahead. But is railroading really the villain it is made out to be, or just an innocent victim, framed for the crimes of others? Discuss this article...

Gizmo The Bullshitting Ouija Board
An off-beat item which is perfect for injecting a dash of humour into an otherwise serious campaign. It's 2000 years old, it's lonely, and your adventurers just found it. Discuss this article...

Guide Traumatic Injury for Gamers
"The Orc raises his barbed battle axe high, its head glinting in the sun, then whips it down around his head. The sharp blade glances off your shield, smashes into your chest and... err... does you 15 points of damage."
      Are you a GM whose descriptions of wounds and injuries are, quite frankly, crap? Then read on. Now. Before you eat your lunch. By James West. Discuss this article...

Thought The Problem With Roleplaying Is
When we talk about the virtues of roleplaying as a hobby one of the things that usually gets trotted out is: "...and it doesn't need to cost anything. You just your imagination..." Great yeah? Well as I survey the wreckage of the latest failed magazine and the ever shrinking number of games shops I'm beginning to wonder.
      Is roleplaying too cheap a hobby? Discuss this article...

Guide GM's and Jedi Knights
We all loved Star Wars, and we all thought that Jedi Knights and the Force were the coolest thing ever. So what could be better than wielding the Force as a Jedi Knight in a roleplaying game? Well your GM might just feel differently.
      'Cous in the hands of the wrong player there's nothing that can shag a game as quickly as a Jedi Knight. Scribe reveals some of the nightmares he's suffered and suggests a few remedies. Discuss this article...

Rant What I Hate About Percentile Systems!
Now I've got nothing against percentile systems - in principal. But there's just one little thing that winds the hell out of me every time. Rolling one hundred. Discuss this article...

Quiz So You Reckon You Know about Roleplaying?
Test your knowledge with a few on-line quizzes about the hobby we all love. Discuss this article...

Guide Roleplaying in the Great White North
Now we know that most of you set your modern-era roleplaying games somewhere in the US. But hey, let's fact it - if you're in one of the Northern states your PCs are only one map-reading error and a blazing row away from somewhere else. Namely Canada.
      Geoff Gander, a native of that northern realm gives some advice to any GamesMasters planning to travel north. Discuss this article...

Guide Role-Playing In The Land Of Oz
Like most British people we'd probably say that the best country in the world to be born in is... Australia. But how much do we really know about the country. I mean it's big. They drink beer. It's big.
      Whether you're looking for a campaign setting, or just planning your hols, Adam Reeve blows away a few misconceptions and gives us a local's guide. Discuss this article...

Boring Everything you never wanted to know about point nine recurring
Our maths studying friend Ed takes a look at the fascination that is 0.99999... (Feel free to give this a rating of 1 out of 7). Discuss this article...

Guide Jonny's House Rules
Every GamesMaster has his or her style of GMing, and this includes how they treat players and how they expect the players to act. Here's Jonny's personal list of rules, no-nos and general principals. Discuss this article...

Free Game Headache
A gambling game using those funny polyhedral dice that only us games know exist. Probably best played when drunk. Discuss this article...

Thought Gamers, Food, Exercise...
I'm not even going to describe what this article's about. Let's just say that theMagius sounds off on a subject that's clearly close to his heart. Have a read. Discuss this article...

Guide How To Win A Roleplaying Game
Despite what it says at the boring beginning bit to every RPG book, you can win. It requires clever tactics, quick thinking, and an odd personality for your character. By Shadow the Rat. Discuss this article...

Guide Getting By In A Cyberpunk World
Yeah, we know all about the gadgets, and the chrome and the freaks who've turned their bodies into sculptures. But it's still supposed to be a real world out there. MJM looks at some of the reality behind the style. Discuss this article...

Guide A More Rounded Character
Many RPG systems have some concept of advantages and disadvantages for characters - though often under different terms. They can be great for "fleshing" out a character, making him or her unique. But let's be honest here. Real people have lots of little quirks that you just don't tend to find in rulebooks. So here's a few additions we came up with. Discuss this article...

Event Killercon 2000
Killercon is our local convention, and we'll definitely be attending, so we thought it would be good to let the people behind it give you a sneek preview of what's on offer. Discuss this article...

Agony Ask Doctor Bubba
He's back! As tactless as before and insensitive as ever. If you need advice and you're, really, really desperate then the good Doctor will dish out some advice. Free.
      And you know what you say about getting what you pay for. Discuss this article...

      So that's all for now. Sorry about the delay but it's been a harsh Winter, for JN and myself, this year. Hopefully things will go allot smoother next issue. Thanx to everyone who helped put this baby together. Special SHOUT to Gav who was there to help when my PC went POP.
      Before the next issue I have a PC rebuild and a Boarding trip ( Kiss in the Snow) planned. JN is off to New York (Think he is scoping the place out for his next step in world domination) and he'll prolly be wondering down to Killercon, who knows maybe I'll go too. What this means for Issue 5 who the fuck knows, but if you see articles titled 'So you're taking you're Party to New York' or 'Roleplaying in the Ski Lodge Cuz you've Broken your legs', you'll know where our inspiration came from.
      We're also always looking for outside contributors (Less work for us) so if you have something to say, and the balls to have your work displayed for all the world to see, drop us a line. Someone once told me 'you must have Balls like Oranges to do what you do.' I told him 'That's right, and I know loads of Girlz who like Orange Juice too!'
      If you ain't already done so, check out the Reviews, IMHO, Feedback, Top Ten, Soul Thought and Gaming Records sections. If you liked what you see and want to know when we publish Issue 5 then just subscribe and we'll mail ya!
      Anyway I hope you liked this, or as everyone involved in this issue knows it

Issue 4: A New Hope...

      Merry Christmas and and Happy New Year.
      Peace Init...

Bubba, Webmaster, Critical Miss Magazine.

copyright © 2000 Critical Miss Gaming Society
Critical Miss Magazine is published four, three times a year When we can be arsed, by the Critical Miss Gaming Society.

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