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ISSUE 5 : Summer 2000

Hi Dysfunctional Gamers!
      We're back, did ya miss us? Sorry about the long gap since the last issue of Critical Miss. We had a fair few things happen in our lives which kind of delayed things, but they should be out of the way now.
      When we started we had planned on publishing an issue every three months, regular as clockwork, but then I guess we're not the only ones who started out with the best of intentions, but then found other things getting in the way.
      But although it's turned out to be a lot more work than we realised, we're glad we did it. We've been pretty successful. Admittedly not as successful as the Jersey Association of Gamers, whose web site's counter (as of 3rd June 2000) recorded 2,532,463 visits to their main page since 14th July '97. Compared with their record of a staggering 2400 visitors every day, we're small fry. But we're catching up on them.
      Anyhow, enough of that. Hope you enjoy this issue.

Jonny Nexus, Editor, Critical Miss Magazine.

P.S. In last issue's quiz I forgot to mention that most of the questions were written by General Tangent.

Guide Ending Your Campaign
If there's one thing worse than a failure, it's success you never wanted. Your players love your campaign, and come back for more each week. Shame you don't. Maybe you did, once, but now it's like the old dog you got when you were five, that you loved then, but which now just shits its way around the house whenever your teenaged mates come round.
      Want out of your campaign, but you your players won't let you? Then read our handy-dandy guide to ending your campaign. Discuss this article...

Free Game My Live Action Misadventures
Archimedes tells us of the day he played a little live action Vampire: The Masquerade, a day he lived to regret. Discuss this article...

Report Pimp: The Free Collectible Card Game
Like collectible card games? Hate spending your hard-earned cash on those little-bitty foil packets? Say no more. We've got the game for you. A collectible card game where you find the cards just lying around. We present...
      Pimp: The Free Collectible Card Game. Discuss this article...

Guide Roleplaying In The Big Red
A guide to Russia, for any GMs thinking of setting a campaign there, by Evgenie Medvedev Discuss this article...

Guide Roleplaying In Northern California
A guide to Northern California, for any GMs thinking of setting a campaign there, by Jim Anuszczyk.. Discuss this article...

Free Game Elevator
The game where you play an, er... elevator. All you need is a deck of standard cards, a few matches, pencils, straws or similar, and absolutely nothing better to do.. Discuss this article...

Thought The Day My Washing-Machine Went Walkabout
A few thoughts about fear, panic and domestic appliances that don't know their place.. Discuss this article...

Links Deckplans, Floorplans And Assorted Diagrams
Think the title says it all really Discuss this article...

Scenario The Big Push
A realistic and gritty GURPS scenario for 4-6 standard human characters, set in the early years of the 20th century. Discuss this article...

Report Killercon 2000
Don't know how many of you guys made it to Killercon, but we did, and we had a pretty good time. Bubba shot James Wallis with a crossbow, Jonny had a Paranoia character killed in somewhat dubious circumstances, and General T and Bogboy were, well, General T and Bogboy. Discuss this article...

Spotlight More Nuke The Crap
Remember the free game we published in Issue 3, "Nuke the crap out of Europe"? Well Beemer (aka Seth McGinnis) liked it so much that he went right ahead and knocked up a couple of expansion sets.
      So if you're done nuking Europe, now you can have a go at Africa and the good old US of A. Discuss this article...

Guide Beyond Bob - Naming Your Character
A few thoughts on conjuring up a name for your character. Discuss this article...

Thought Do Women Shit?
Or why big tough male RPG characters are like real-world women. A few thoughts on realism in roleplaying. And women. Discuss this article...

Report The American-Female Perspective
Last issue's Thought For The Soul generated a fair bit of comment, must of which appears in IMHO, but one of the most interesting was this well-argued piece from a female friend of Bubba's. Discuss this article...

Agony Ask Doctor Bubba
Still mad, still pointless, still going. Discuss this article...

Test Universe Validity Test Kit
How do you know that this, you, your life, the universe is real? Could it all be a weird kind of fantasy dreamed up by the big G upstairs? (Side thought: If God made a sad sack of crap like me - what the hell does that say about HIM?)
      Check out the validity of your personal universe with our rather clever little test kit. Discuss this article...

    That's it for another issue of Critical Miss, again sorry about the long gap but you know how life tends to catch up with you.
    For the record it's not like we haven't been busy, JN has moved house and yours truly has a new job. Not just any job, no a job with the words 'Manager' and 'Internet' in the job title. Sure beats dealing with drunks on a day to day basis...
    For those of you who read my last footnote and are interested these are how my plans panned out for me. New PC is built and running, (Duel processor running Win 2000, again a BIG THANX to Gav) so working on this issue was actually allot less stress then anticipated. I got a new job but with the new job I had to scrap the Boarding trip, hoping to head out to Heavenly early next year though. I did make it to Killercon and yes I did manage to shoot James Wallace, Sorry Dude.
    The next issue is due out on the 1st of November and will mark Critical Miss's 2nd Birthday. Nothing much planned before then, I'm aiming to learn to drive (legally that is) and I know JN wants to get his new house sorted out. Apart from that it's work as normal. We do want to find UK conventions where we can demonstrate Pimp.
   If you ain't already done so, check out IMHO, Feedback, Top Ten, Soul Thought and Gaming Records sections. And if you like what you see and want to know when we publish Issue 6 then just subscribe and we'll mail ya!   
    OK now for a couple of things I want to get off my chest...
    Firstly I would really like to thank everyone who supports us in this, we do really appreciate it when you mail us and tell us what you do and don't like. You don't have to like what we write though that is nice, what we do want though is to entertain and hopefully provoke some thought
    Secondly I would like to again apologise for the termination of the Chat mailing list. Those of you who were on it have had insights into who Critical Miss are as people. You have seen our infighting and Flames, our abuse and Bad Manners, our general lack of understanding and our almost total Dysfunctionality. Actually all that stuff was me, everyone else seemed to be pretty much well behaved.
   Apologies aside the list is gone and those on it know why. All I wanted to say was we hope you understand why we terminated it, but if you don't then there is nothing that I can say that will change things.
   Anyway that's all for another issue, maybe we will meet some of you at some of the UK Roleplaying conventions we are going to. Look out for us, trust me when I say it will be an enlightening experience...
    Peace Init...

Bubba, Webmaster, Critical Miss Magazine.

copyright © 2000 Critical Miss Gaming Society
Critical Miss Magazine is published four, three times a year When we can be arsed, by the Critical Miss Gaming Society.

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